Welcome to Life – the Singularity, Ruined by lawyers is a video that is as funny as it is smart. For this reason, even though it has been making the rounds on the internet for quite some time now, I decided to repost it below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!
Welcome To Life:
Hello, and welcome to Life. We regret to inform you that your previous existence ended on January 14, 2052 following a road traffic accident. However, your consciousness was successfully uploaded to the Life network by your primary care provider. You may be experiencing some confusion. Please remain calm. Life contains *ting sound* Your mental state is being temporarily adjusted in order to calm you. Please do not be alarmed. Life contains over thirty thousand unique activities, networking with millions of other digitized minds, and the ability to contact undigitized friends and family. Please accept these terms and conditions in order to continue Life. Your attention is particularly drawn to Section 2: Usage Rules and Limitations, Section 9: Privacy, and Section 11: Restricted Mental Activities. Thank you.
Please select a Life plan.
Terms and conditions
THE LEGAL AGREEMENTS SET OUT BELOW ARE BETWEEN YOU AND LIFE DIGITAL PERSONALITY MANAGEMENT INCORPORATED (HERAFTER “THE PROVIDER”) AND GOVERN YOU USE OF THE PROVIDER’S SYSTEMS WHICH INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO, THE COMPILATION AND SIMULATION OF YOUR DIGITAL PERSONALITY UNDER THE DIGITAL PERSONALITIES (RIGHTS OF DECEASED PERSONS) ACT 2050.
THE AGREEMENT APPLIES WITHOUT PREJUDICE TO ANY PREVIOUS AGREEMENTS AND CONTRACTS THAT YOU MAY HAVE ENTERED INTO WITH THIRD PARTIES, IMPORTANT” ACCEPTING SIMULATION AS A DIGITAL PERSONALITY MEANS YOU WAIVE YOUR RIGHT TO POST-MORTEM RELEASE OF DEBTS AND OBLIGATIONS. YOUR LIFE MAY BE AT RISK IF YOU DO NOT KEEP UP REPAYMENTS ON A LOAN SECURED ON IT.
1. PAYMENTS AND REFUNDS POLICY
You agree that you will pay for services purchased from the Provider, as well as upgrades, enhancements and experience (“Apps”) selected from third-party simulation enhancement entities (“App Providers”). The Provider accepts payment by direct transfer from bank accounts in the US, UK, France, Germany and Australia. In the event your payments become significantly in arrears, the Provider reserves the right to a) search your digital personality for the details, locations, and access requirements for assets that you owe in relation to its services (see: Section 9, Privacy) and/or b) terminate your simulation without notice (see: Section 13, Notice of Termination).
! Rejecting these terms will result in termination of your simulated personality.
Welcome To Life
Tier One is our premium offering, allowing full uninterrupted simulation of your pre-terminal state. It includes unlimited modification of your body plan, accelerated learning and recall, and full personal backup facilities. Tier Two is our advertiser-supported offering. It contains many of the features of Tier One, but at a significantly reduced cost. Some areas of the environment, such as the sky, may be replaced with targeted advertising, and your personal brand preferences may be altered to align with those of our sponsors. Tier Three is our value offering. Thanks to our commercial partners, your experience at this tier is unlimited. However, some activities, senses, and visual rendering options may be subject to a Fair Use Policy. More complicated mental processes, including subconscious thought, creativity and self-awareness, may be rate-limited or disabled at times of significant server load. Thank you.
Your stored mind contains one or more patterns that contravene the Prevention of Crime and Terrorism Act of 2050. Please stand by while we adjust these patterns. Your stored mind contains sections from 124,564 copyrighted works. In order to continue remembering these copyrighted works, a licensing fee of $18,000 per month is required. Would you like to continue remembering these works? Thank you.
UNDER INTERNATIONAL TRACE AND COPYRIGHT LAWS, WE ARE UNABLE TO STOR WHOLE OR PART COPYRIGHTED WORKS AS PART OF A DIGITAL PERSONALITY WITHOUT THAT PERSONALITY TENDERING A LICENSING FEE DETERMINED BY THE COPYRIGHT HOLDER. THE FOLLOWING COPYRIGHTED WORKS ARE WHOLLY OR PARTLY CONTAINED WITHIN YOUR STORED PERSONALITY TO A DEGREE THAT CONTRAVENES THE RIGHT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY HOLDERS:
MUSICAL WORKS OR PERFORMANCES: 57,384
VISUAL WORKS OR PERFORMANCES: 43,586
OLFACTORY WORKS OR PERFORMANCES: 124
OTHER WORKS OR PERFORMANCES: 23,470
You have insufficient funds in an financial reserves to pay this licensing fee.
! Copyrighted works are being deleted.
Welcome to Life.
Please stand by. Welcome to Life. Do you wish to continue?
© Published By Enyay tomscott.com